Now That You’re a Parent

  • Nothing truly belongs to you

    Charlie's 1st Birthday

    Charlie’s 1st Birthday

  • When you step in something gooey or sticky, it’s not shocking
  • Your standard of what clean looks like changes dramatically
  • Clean clothes means there’s no vomit
  • You can function on 2-4 hours of sleep a night for a while, but after a month or so, you start hallucinating
  • Rather than judge a parent in a supermarket with a screaming child, you pat them on the back and give them a sympathetic smile
  • Other things matter less
  • You’ve got every corner cover, electric socket cover, cupboard safety latch, gate and gadget to keep your child safe, but they’ll always find something dangerous to play with
  • You relax about what really IS dangerous
  • Gross loses meaning
  • You plan to NEVER use a pacifier, walker, or T.V to make them happy

Hahahahahahahahaha

  • You stop judging other parents so much
  • And … of course, though your life is messier and smellier, it’s also richer, funnier, and a whole lot of love heart-filled awesomeness and unicorn farts

PEACE

 

HMC

 

Visit HMC’s official site HERE

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4 thoughts on “Now That You’re a Parent

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