Those who know me, know how much I love being a teacher. Some days you leave a classroom thinking, ‘wow that day was spawned from hell,’ but there are many days when you’re lifted up so high, that you think you’ll never come down again. I adore working with children. They’re inquisitive, now-focussed, generally happy and most of all FUNNY.
In fact, their humour is one of the greatest perks of the job.
A friend recently reminded me, with her son’s homework (that included the answer: elephant shit) just how funny kids can be. Mostly, it reminded me of all the times I’ve had to keep a straight face, in the classroom, and almost failed.
Here are some examples … could you keep a straight face?
(I’ve changed the names out of respect for the children)
A Flipping Good Time
The children had just settled in for a story after lunch, when master 6 raised his hand.
‘Miss Hayley, Luke pissed in the bushes.’
‘You mean weed? Or urinated?’ I corrected.
‘Yes, he weed!’
‘Luke? Is that true?’
‘Yes, Miss Hayley.’
‘Why do you think that might be inappropriate?’
‘Because I flipped out my willy and went WoooooHoooooooo?’
Black Is Back
I had been to the hair dresser the day before and miss 8 was in the middle of an enthralling story. She stopped, quite abruptly, looked at me confused, and said, ‘Miss Hayley, did you dilate your hair black?’
Rules are Made to be Broken
When working with small children, it’s important to go over the rules. Even better, to have them remind you of the rules. When sitting in a circle, one of the children brought up the rule on swearing.
Just as my teacher aide (a wonderful woman who I adore, and who probably remembers this) walks into the room, in order to take over for morning tea time, miss 6 bellows, ‘my dad says f**k isn’t a swear word!’
I nearly lost it. But she, skilfully and straight-faced, replied, ‘Hmmmm. I think it might be, darling’.
Duty is Never Dull
On duty in the playground, miss 7 ran up to me, flabbergasted and said, ‘Miss Hayley, when I do this (screams the most blood-curdling, horrendous scream you’ve ever heard in your life) … my throat hurts!’
‘HAHA really? I can’t, for the life of me, understand why.’
So, this is part of the reason I love my job. Most of all though; it’s the look in the eyes that children get, when they’ve learned something new. It’s the excitement they feel for an activity they enjoy. It’s their exuberance, energy, and thirst for life. They teach me the same lesson, everyday: DON’T TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY.
Those are the perks of being a teacher.
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